Now that you've been here for a few months, it has become increasingly clear that we need to set some ground rules. The new Ninja Cocaine Kitty (NCK) Ground Rules, effective immediately, are as follows:

1. The kitchen counters are not your racetrack. Please do not use them to gain height and speed on your enemies.

2. Please do not stalk and then hide by the back door so that you can attack the 2 dogs every time I let them back into the house. They don't like this. REALLY.

3. That weird shrieking-growling-hissing combo sound that the adult cat makes when you attack her with your mad Ninja Cocaine Kitty skills is not her way of saying, "Please continue biting and attacking me. It feels really good and this is loads of fun. Bring on the love!" She doesn't like it. Please stop this behavior immediately.

4. The bay window in the kitchen with all the plants and glass bottles was not set up as your personal obstacle course. Please stop using it as such.

5. The flick on your nose to get you to release your Ninja Cocaine Kitty death grip is NOT an invitation to quickly regroup and then fling yourself again at the same spot on my arm with 10x the strength. Please stop.

6. THIS. IS. NOT. YOUR. HOUSE. We were here before you, we'll be here after you.

We reserve the right to update, change, and/or add to the Ninja Cocaine Kitty Ground Rules as needed.


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