Faux intimacy is so annoying. You know, those people who call you honey or sweetie or darlin' and they don't even know you?
I hate that.
I especially hate it when called that from someone in a service industry (retail clerks, waitresses, 16-year-olds from the local Dairy Queen, etc.).
While celebrating Todd's fatherhood at a restaurant today, we received no less than 5 (maybe 6) sweeties and 3 (maybe 4) honeys from our waitress between the two of us.
She was around 19.
I'm 40.
Todd's 40-something.
It came across as very disrespectful.
Initially, I went in to get our table while Todd parked and brought in Ella. I thought I misheard the waitress as she approached with, "Hello sweetie, what can I get you to drink?" I think I actually did a double take. She continued honey-ing and sweetie-ing so much throughout the dinner that I considered mentioning it to the manager. (I didn't.) It felt weird. It felt disrespectful. It felt uncomfortable.
These intimacies used by strangers are so odd to me. I'm not sure what people want to accomplish with this? Do they think it will endear me more to them -- perhaps leaving them a better tip? In my book, it does the exact opposite.
I mean, I call my husband babe.
I've known him for 14+ years.
I call my daughter sweetness.
I birthed her from my loins.
These qualify me to call them whatever pet name I want.
What doesn't qualify as the right to a pet name?
Taking my drink order within 3 seconds of meeting me, that's what.
So, please don't use these intimate pet names with me unless
1) You are a close family member,
2) You are an older person (whom I think has earned the right to pretty much do what they want in life), or
3) You are a waitress with FLO on your name tag who works for Mel in his diner and we're filming a 70s TV series.
Other than that? Let's just stay on simple, non-intimate terms, shall we?
Your Highness works just fine for me.
I knew I was a genius before, but who knew that my genius had no limits?!?
Get this.
I accidentally did my own micro-sociological study.
Let me give you some background:
On Facebook, there is something called FLAIR. It's an E-version of those round message buttons - you know, like "I'm with Stupid" or "Keep on Truckin'" or "I (heart) Harry Potter". On Facebook, you can send people these Flair buttons and they display on their profile. There are pre-made ones, or you can make your own (I think you see where this is going).
Often to unwind from a stressful day I will "play" on the computer late at night - a game, following up on Facebook, etc. A couple of days ago, in an attempt to unwind from a long day of writing, I made a bunch of my own Flair to send to my husband and friends. (This is what happens when you stay up too late.)
I made one for my husband AND one of our best friends that said, "NO! I do not know what happened to your keys or cell phone!" 
Now, if you know anything about me or my blog, you know why I did this. Just refer to any of the previous marriage postings.
Anyway, Facebook gives you the ability to track the statistics on Flair you've made (it's kinda like a popularity contest, only without the Burn Book or worrying about who will ask you to prom). Imagine my surprise when I checked the statistics (a little over 24 hours after I made the Flair) and found this:
Stop Asking Me, I Didn't Lose It! Button
Users: 784
Daily Growth: 248%
Weekly Growth: 45200%
Overall Rank: 87,994
In hundreds of thousands of Flair on Facebook, this Flair is ranked 87,994 with 784 users (in just a little over 1 day) at the time of this posting. This says loads to me:
1. I'm a creative genius.
2. I may have missed my calling.
3. There are lots of p*ssed off wives who want their husbands to STOP ASKING WHERE THEY LEFT THEIR KEYS and/or CELL PHONE. (yes, I'm pretty confident that it's mostly wives sending this Flair to their husbands).
And that, my friends, is how you start your own experiment.
Facebook Flair: The new sociological experiment.
PS-In case you're on Facebook and want the Flair, go here on your account:
http://apps.facebook.com/getflair/browse.php
And search on "cell phone" and it will bring this flair up in that category
In an effort to accomplish SOMETHING on my goal list (like #11), I went searching for some mommy-and-me-play-group thing to join.
I know, how soccer mom of me.
Actually? It has to do more with the fact that Ella's getting sick of me and I'm, well, running out of ways to entertain her. I see it in her face sometimes when she gives me that baby SIGH with "YOU AGAIN?!?! Seriously, we need to get more variety in our lives" look on her face.
So I ran across a pretty cool site online - Meetup.com. There are groups - or people waiting to join groups - for anything and everything. I mean ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. I have a pretty open mind and try not to judge other people and their lifestyles (OK, I said TRY), but get a load of some of the things I ran across while browsing the groups:
- Space Exploration? Yep, group for that.
- Interested in Transhumanism (or, er, learning what it is)? Sure, group for that.
- Pagen Parenting? Shudder, but yes, there's a group for you.
- Still into Dungeons and Dragons? (I mean, who can believe?!?!) But, OK, sure, your group is waiting.
- Interested in Cocktails? OF COURSE! I mean, yes there's a group. (And, it wasn't specific enough - is this about MAKING or CONSUMING?!? For fear of being put into the wrong group, I didn't join).
- VAMPIRES?!? There is a group for VAMPIRES.
Uh. OK...
I "applied" to another area group with more relaxed standards, but didn't hear back. Maybe it's because of my Swoopy Mowhawk Kid in the picture I posted?!? I mean SERIOUSLY, people who think they are VAMPIRES can have a group, but I can't even get an email back to be invited into the MOMMY GROUP?
My life sucks way more than I thought.
Last night we drove by a beautiful park/campground on the water. As we passed all the RV's, I took note of all the "decorating" RV owners do when camping. It prompted me to start this conversation:
ME: "Did you see that ice cream cone light two of the RVs had hanging from their canopy?"
Him: "Uh. No."
ME: "Seriously? You didn't see them?"
Him: *sigh* "NO. Driving!"
ME: "Do you think the two ice cream cone RVs were together?"
Him: "Dunno."
*silence*
ME: "Do you think there's, like, an RV decorating store or something?"
*silence*
ME: "Or, do you think there's an RV class or caste system? Maybe some subculture that we aren't even aware of?!?"
ME: "What's the difference between class and caste, anyway? I always get those two mixed up..."
Him: *sigh*
Anyway, it started me thinkin'.
First let me say that I'm not making fun of RV-ers (or whatever they call themselves). Todd's grandparents traveled all over in an RV. They just stopped. And they are each 111 or something.
Heck, a few months ago I tried to get Todd to sell everything off, buy an RV and travel around the country doing, you know, good-for-something stuff. I could even home school Ella (when it gets to that point). But would it really be HOME schooling if you lived in an RV?
I digress...
So anyway, I guess I'm intrigued.
Is there an entire class system within the RV world? Like, the people who can afford the waterfront camping lots don't associate with the "people in the back"?
Or, do the number and types of lights you have decorating your RV canopy determine your place in the RV class system? What if you have no lights, OR *gasp* NO DECORATIONS. Are you shunned completely? Because I have to tell you, I wouldn't be part of the drag-all-the-crap-out-only-to-put-it-away-five-days-later group. I don't even unpack my suitcase when we are on vaca, for goodness sake. I would be in the shunned group, I guess.
By the way, there IS an RV decorating store (of course there is!), uh, there are LOTS of resources as it turns out. RVCrafts.com was my all time favorite website - who couldn't use some nifty RV-character placemats?!? But it was this site that made me realize, "Dang, people take their RV decorating very, very seriously!"
My priorities are all screwed up. I'm not sure how it happened, or exactly when, but everything seems to be all out of whack. Lately, I've been feeling like...something's missing. I'm overwhelmed. I'm tired. I'm caught up in OPD (other people's drama, *No NOT you DL*) and other black holes of virtual nothingness. I used to feel like my skills were being utilized for SOMETHING (yes, I DO have SOME skillz).
I used to volunteer for a women's shelter.
We used to give regularly and generously to several charities.
We used to adopt families at Christmas.
Give to food baskets for Thanksgiving.
What happened?
Part of that is financial. We certainly don't have the resources that we used to. But what excuse is that not to volunteer? That costs nothing right? (Gas to drive there once per week or month)? It's sad that there always seems to be a million reasons not to help others.
Today I received an email that was a reminder of all the BIG NOTHINGS that I'm providing right now. Months and months ago (maybe even years), I had signed up for Volunteer Match reminders. They send you updates of volunteer opportunities that may be of interest. Usually? I delete them. (Because, hey, who has time for other people?). Today, for some unknown reason, I opened the email. I was surprised to find one listing. It was for my background and it was virtual.
ONE LISTING.
THAT I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO DRIVE TO.
If that doesn't speak volumes, I don't know what does.
VolunteerMatch has a website where you can actually search for volunteer opportunities in and around your area. From their website:
VolunteerMatch is a leader in the nonprofit world dedicated to helping everyone find a great place to volunteer. The organization offers a variety of online services to support a community of nonprofit, volunteer and business leaders committed to civic engagement. Our popular service welcomes millions of visitors a year and has become the preferred Internet recruiting tool for more than 50,000 nonprofit organizations.
Can't make it outside your home (like, um, you have a 7 month old or something)? They even have a specific area on their home page that allows you to search virtual volunteer opportunities by your keyword of interest.
Go ahead...what are you waiting for? Get up and do something...for someone else.
You won't be sorry.
Nothing is ever innocent anymore...especially on the Internet. The most innocently entered search terms can net some of the most interesting (& shocking) results. Case in point:
This morning I INNOCENTLY entered the following search terms for some clipart for a T-shirt I'm working on:
black and white hanging sign clipart
Seems innocent enough, right? I thought so, too. Well, until I get this result:
http://www.clipartguide.com/_pages/0060-0504-1516-0610.html
Color me surprised that this item was removed.
UH, HELLLLLOOOOOO...
(WHAT is WRONG with people?!?!)
