SWF: I like swimming, sailing, hot summer nights...

This was an(other) actual email that came to my PROFESSIONAL email account:
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Subject: Lonely heart, hello!!!

Hey there! I'm a hard working woman, enjoying what I have but looking for more. I'm your typical upbeat personality, proud of the choices I've made and the life I lead.

Hello! I'm a great communicator who wants someone to talk to... and more. When I'm at home alone, it's time to relax with good wine and a good book. I prefer to stay open to whatever comes my way. My friends call me when they need a shoulder to cry on. For me a perfect Friday night is a great dinner, a hot club, then back to my place for more intimate activities. When I'm out driving I like to see the sights along the backroads. Experience-wise, I know what I'm doing, but I'll always take a few pointers. Feel free to drop me a line if you know how to treat a girl right. I'm not changing my life, I just want to improve it to the tune of one man. If you contact me remember that I'm looking for a relationship, not just a one-night stand. I am looking for a straight male. Who is funny, caring,likes to try new things,a one woman person,a tad on the romantic side. Someone who acceptes me for who I am. Note: I'm not afraid of change but am set in my ways and expect the same of others. I am looking honest and caring....someone who accepts people as they are...and will treat a woman like a woman. I want to find someone who loves to laugh and have a good time whether we are out or at home. Most of all, I'd like to find someone who believe in mutual respect and loyalty. I'm looking for a single man who would want to take their time to get to know me with the possible developement of a relationship. You must like going out on the town and be able to spend time at home with a movie or.... I hope, that you will answer me my letter and will write to me the answer to mine e-mail the address: (edited for your protection)

Your new girlfriend.
P.S Tomorrow I shall search for your answer and I wish to send you my photo. I hope, that my photo is pleasant to you
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Is it wrong that I wanted to date this chick?!? I mean, aside from the poor spelling, occasional grammatical error and sentence fragment this might just be THE. PERFECT. PERSON. If she had thrown in some comment about bubble gum ice cream, I would SO. BE. THERE.

A couple of talking points about the email:

1. "Hello! I'm a great communicator who wants someone to talk to"
No man is getting past this sentence. EVER. She lost him RIGHT THERE.

2. "When I'm out driving I like to see the sights along the backroads."
UMMMMM...This sounds familiar. Isn't this the same thing that serial killer chick played by Charlize Theron said in that Monster movie?

3. "I'm not changing my life, I just want to improve it to the tune of one man."
Oh honey. Seriously? "Improve" and "man" just do not go in the same sentence.

4. "I am looking for a straight male. Who is funny, caring,likes to try new things,a one woman person,a tad on the romantic side."
She's looking in the wrong sexually-oriented group IMHO.

Anyway...
I've been known, from time-to-time, to answer a spam mail or two (from my just-for-fun-spam-email-address).
This one?
I just forwarded to my husband...

(Hey, I know he's not single, but he still might be interested).