"That's because your ears were lactating..."

BACKGROUND:
When we first acquired Ninja Cocaine Kitty last year, he was just a confused scared little kitty. He was so small that he would try to "nurse" on Todd's goatee or on my ear. He would crawl up on my shoulder and latch himself in a jaw death grip to my ear lobe and try to nurse. He tried this for months and months after we got him and finally he grew out of it. He will still try it on occasion (which makes me sad and I say, "OOOHHH LOOOOK...he must miss his MOMMMMMY", completely forgetting that he just randomly Ninja flung himself at me mere moments ago).

FAST FORWARD TO THIS WEEK:
Ella is fascinated with our pets (2 dogs, 2 cats), which is sad because they want nothing to do with her (the spectrum varies from mild disinterest to complete loathing on their part). This week, Freddie (AKA: Ninja Cocaine Kitty) has been hanging around Ella a lot, so she's taken a great deal of interest in him. I've been teaching her "KITTY! KITTY! KITTY! KITTY!" (which she thinks is the BEST. NOISE. EVER.).

Upon Todd's return home from a business trip, Ella sees Ninja Cocaine Kitty and starts all, "KI-KI-KI-KI" (yes, she's a genius) in front of her daddy. Todd was in great awe of my new monkey trick. He then says, "OH! While I was gone, I had all these weird dreams. One was that we were pumping your milk with the pump, but not from your breast, FROM YOUR EAR LOBE."

Discussion about his mentally stability and need for regulated medication ensued.

After that, I was telling him how I was teaching Ella the "KITTY! KITTY!" thing this week and I couldn't figure out why Ninja Cocaine Kitty wouldn't leave me alone. It took me a moment to realize that he wouldn't leave me alone BECAUSE I WAS CALLING HIM ("Kitty! Kitty!")

(Hey, I never claimed to be bright).

At that point? My husband deadpans:

"He wasn't leaving you alone not because you were calling him, but because your ears were lactating..."

There's something seriously wrong with us in this household.