(Pregnant) Man in a Woman's Body

Recently, I had some "leftover" airline miles that were going to expire. Since that 10 year anniversary trip to Greece was out of the question, my husband took it upon himself to use the miles by subscribing us to a years worth of magazines that we don't need and probably won't read. He got himself mags such as Maxim, Details, and Young Hotties Posing on the Front Business Magazine, while I got Women's Health, Working Moms, and How to Lose that Pesky Back Fat Hanging Over Your Bra. After a brief "discussion" about why I got the stereotypical get-your-ass-into-shape-and-make-some-money women's mags and he got the how-to-be-a-cool-guy mags, I noticed something odd. The stack of women's mags sat there untouched (frankly, the Working Mom mag scared the hell out of me. I'm not sure if it was the "working" part or the "mom" part). I was instead drawn to the men's mags.

It's no shock that I would find the men's mags more interesting. I've never been a girly-girl and I hate gossipy women BS. I like the straight-forward, no-fluff, pull-no-punches style of men's magazines. I mean, look what I learned just thumbing through Details magazine (UM HELLLOOO...Brad Pitt on the front of Details obviously pre-new digs in his tidy white tee...):

• Many celebrites (Marc Anthony, JLo, Ray Charles, Paris Hilton, Betty & Gerald Ford & on & on...) demand PAYMENTS to appear at a charity fundraiser (and I don't mean like a Democratic Dinner, I mean like Kids With Lupus and stuff...)
• A glittery wet naked woman can hold the new Tom Ford fragrance for men in a vice grip between her legs in a way that strategically covers her "privates"
• Men don't get snippy when you write articles about them entitled, Almost Famous (*cough*Casey Affleck*cough*)
• Apparently, if you're a young, cool, and hot male, it's OK to carry a manpurse.
• Some women are stupid enough to work and pay for child care because their addicted husbands play video games all day in a cocaine-like induced frenzy.
• Texting is the new networking.
• Thinking about words like beer and keg can help bring sexy back for a man (NOTE: apparently you don't even have to be Homer Simpson for this one to work).
• Hugh Hefner has 200 pairs of silk pajamas in 20 colors.
• In a Harvard DuBois Review study, most said it would take $1 million for them to give up TV permanently. The majority of whites in the study said they would take $10,000 to turn black permanently.

You can bet your bundt cake I wouldn't have learned that stuff from Working Mom.
(And I still got to look at a 19-page "portfolio" of Brad Pitt).