Mayhem and Foolishness

We're this___close to being an episode of Clean House. So today ("the nicest of the nice summer days we've had" as my bitter husband spat), we're cleaning house.

Not playing outside with our daughter (who loves the outdoors - check that - loves watching the cars that drive outdoors).
Not swimming.
Not drinking margaritas on our dock.
We're cleaning.

C-L-E-A-N-I-N-G. (The opposite of H-A-V-I-N-G F-U-N).

I don't really know how it happened. The moment that it started to spiral out of control, that is. It seemed to be around the time that I found out I was pregnant (with the "surprise you're almost 40 and have an oldest stepdaughter in college and one in high school" pregnancy). I was ill the entire 8 months of pregnancy (Ella came 1 month early). I was so sick that I only gained 8 pounds in the first 6 months of pregnancy. EIGHT POUNDS. I gained that the first 2 days of my Cancun vacation two years ago. If I wasn't hanging my head in the toilet bowl, I was at the doctors office or in the hospital for yet ANOTHER medical emergency. I think the downward spiral started to happen about then and we never recovered. I mean, when you spend 98.34% of your day puking or feeling like you are going to puke, you don't really care if your office desk is clean or if the macaroni is growing mold in the 'fridge.

I'm working specifically on my office today. It's HARD. REAL HARD. I have built-in bookshelves on both sides of the room that are packed. What goes and what stays? It's hard when you are an academic writer. As soon as I throw one medical book away, sure enough, I'll get a contract were I need page 287 out of that one book. *sigh* I think I'm actually breaking out into hives.

It's sad. We used to be organized people. Todd and I have both successfully worked from home for years - so that alone proves some level of discipline. Now? I have to shove over a pile of teetering crap just to make room to work at my desk. Real productive.

On my desk right this very moment (that I can see as I'm writing this): a stack of marketing books, stacks and stacks of God-only-knows-what stacks of paper, some packing tape, 2 other laptops, 3 kids books by Gyo Fujikawa, a digital camera, a roll of trash bags (hah hah-that's the best one), an aromatherapy gift box of -- something -- that has "Relax, rejuvenate and find inspiration" staring at me from the side of the box, a matted freighter pen & ink drawing from a local artist, a used paper towel, two almost empty bottled waters, an empty Diet Coke can, and a partridge in a pear tree. Oh, and some almond M&M's (and that's only half the stuff, but I think you get the idea).

I used to have a cleaning lady. I wonder what happened to her? Maybe she's stuck in my office clutter somewhere. I do occasionally hear a muffled cry...