Step 1: Contact me in the middle of a busy work day.
Step 2: When I tell you that I'm very busy, the only one working and will call you back, continue to ramble on about your books saying, "It will only take a few minutes".
Step 3: Continue to hold me hostage on the phone (for more than just "a few minutes") while my customers impatiently wait in line.
Step 4: Try to force me to buy the "small minimum order of only 6 books" while I'm on the phone before I finally hang up.
Step 5: Continue to call back every 30 minutes until I finally ignore the calls coming from your area code.
Step 6: Leave me a semi-disappointed-tinged-with-bitterness voicemail about "guessing I wasn't interested in the books."

(Dang, seriously, am I the ONLY indie bookstore left?!?!)

NOTE: Before all the hate mail from you authors out there, let me say this - I'm an author, too - published in the academic field and would LOVE to have my mystery fiction book published, so I can completely empathize. HOWEVER, this approach did not work for me - an independent bookstore owner who is the ONLY employee and takes care of ALL BUSINESS. NOTE TO AUTHORS: You might want to remember this posting when approaching Indies - we are strapped for time!


Shannon Yarbrough said... @ 2:57 PM

Great post! I have sympathy for you, having been an author and bookseller myself.

I hate telephone marketing anyway. I prefer mailing out book kits, or just going into the store and meeting the sellers in person. That goes a long way.


Danko Ramone said... @ 2:13 AM

Note to self: If you ever write a book, don't go botherin' Jackie with it.

Jackie said... @ 7:53 AM

LMAO @Danko!

Note to Public:

If you wrote this book:
The Llama Sutra: Getting Wild in the Wild Kingdom

Feel free to bug me about it. ('Cos really? Who wouldn't want to meet the person who dedicates their time to attaching witty captions to animals having sex?!?).

Danko Ramone said... @ 1:00 PM

Really, who wouldn't take time to write captions about animal f*cking? It's like lolcats EXTREME! The kids'll love it! You should start a sight devoted to captioning pictures of wanton animal scroggage.

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