So my dog eats cat poop.

He views the cats' litter boxes as a buffet feast with the finest Russian caviar and champagne. It is canine cocaine sought out by the worst of addicts.

On a rare occasion when he's able to get the litter boxes within sight (which are stored away nicely at the back of the house in a laundry room with the door cracked only enough for the cats to gain entrance), you can just see him scheming. He might as well have a cartoon bubble over his head detailing his plan. His eyes glaze over, he licks his chops and he waits for the exact right moment for me to turn my back or take a load of laundry out to dash in and gobble up a piece or two of the crunchy delights.

We call the litter boxes the "drive through".

That's bad enough, right? But his snacking doesn't end there in the laundry room. He actually takes the nuggets onto the rug in the back hallway where he can savor each crunchy bit.

He desperately needs a 12 step program for his "little problem".

Now, this isn't the workings of a stupid dog. As a matter of fact, this dog is pretty smart. But he's willing to risk all - knowing that a few minutes of berating (by me shouting, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NO! NO! BAD DOG! VERY BAD DOG!") is well worth his apparent kitty litter high. To his credit, when my head spins around and I start to freak out, he drops the piece of poop from his mouth and looks at me like, "WHaa?!? How did THAT get there?!?" Then, if I turn my back for 1 millisecond, he gobbles it up. Only kitty litter remnants left on the rug to prove his plight.

Aside from the complete gross out factor, I just don't get it. How could something that's been eaten, digested, eliminated and then covered with tiny rock-like pieces be even remotely pleasing to any palate?!?

Never mind that it comes from another's BUTT.

The older female cat just stares at him like, "DUDE. That just came out of my A**."
The dog answers by licking his chops and then proceeding to smack for several moments while we are all treated to the sound of him getting the crunchies out of his teeth.
And that, my friends, is a treat all in itself.

Addendum: This is the same dog that is more than happy to give you a big old sloppy wet kiss right on the mouth when you come over. You've been forewarned...


JMH said... @ 3:13 PM

That is awful. I'm so disgusted I'm giggling.

Michelle said... @ 9:52 AM

Oh, that just cracked me up!!!

Our cats eat each others vomit, but I guess that's a step up since it didn't come from their butts. Thanks for the laugh this morning!

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