Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The story I'm about to tell you is true.

Some may find it disturbing.

No names have been changed to protect the innocent (and guilty).

Prior to reading, you may want to have young children log off.

Reader discretion is advised.


In a small tobacco farming town in a land far, far away (known as southwestern Virginia), there lived a poor young farm girl. One day, this farm girl had a bean. Which she shoved up her nose. No one knew about the bean until the moisture from her nasal cavity made the bean sprout. They had to take her to the doctor to remove the bean.

That girl was my grandmother.

Now, over the years, I've told and re-told this story to multiple friends and family members. Most people give me that, "Yeah. Sure. True story. OK..." look.

But my grandmother told me this story, and she was one of the most honest people I know. (Unlike my prankster grandfather who told me he had his blind eye "put out" in the war. It wasn't until years after he had died and I was an adult that my cousin -- laughing hysterically -- enlightened me by telling me he had his eye injured in a bar fight. My grandpa wasn't ever in a war. HMPF.)

So, back to my bean-nosed grandmother...

Fast-forward to tonight.

My 20-month old loves peas. She had two helpings just tonight. At some point during the second helping she loudly announced, "PEAS! MAMA!" and pointed to her nose.

Apparently veggie-shoving is hereditary.

When she gets older and tells me some story about injuring her eye in the war, I'm totally not believing it.

There were no peas nor noses injured in the writing of this post.


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