What I'm about to describe here is not for the faint of heart. Reader discretion is advised.

This will forever be known as "The Ottoman Incident."

My dog tried to eat my baby's head.

Ok. Ok.
Let me back up:

A few days after we brought Ella home she was lying inside her Boppy pillow (the greatest invention since onion and chive sour cream, btw...) on the ottoman that goes with the big double chair. I was sitting on the chair part, she was on the ottoman, and my dog Indy was lying next to Ella on the ottoman.

Flashback: We had wondered how Indy was going to react to the baby upon arrival. He is, after all, MY DOG - he sleeps at my feet, he goes from room to room with me throughout the day and he looks sincerely dejected when I go into the bathroom and shut the door. He's always done this. For THIRTEEN YEARS.

So you can see how we would be curious about the effect of a baby addition to the family.

Not to mention he absolutely freaks out every time he hears a baby crying on the television.

Yeah. You think this would've been clue enough for me, but no...

So when we brought Ella home, we were surprised that Indy was less than interested. He really didn't seem stressed at all. The heaven's opened, the birds sang, the bunnies hopped, all was good.

Except for The Ottoman Incident.

So when they were lying together on the ottoman, Ella was doing one of those loud, long baby cries while Indy slept next to her (you know WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH...). All of a sudden, out of a deep slumber, Indy goes GRRRAP and snaps at her head.

And then I proceeded to gently remove him from the ottoman while speaking in soothing tones.

Look, I know it sounds bad and without making excuses for him, if the dog wanted to bite the kid he would've. But he doesn't. I know this because he's done the same move to both Todd and me when he's sleeping and we try to move him. He's just a crotchety old dog when he sleeps. (Who, apparently, doesn't want WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH bouncing around in his head when he's trying to sleep. I COMPLETELY understand...)

Flashfoward a few weeks: I put Ella on the ottoman to play with her and, yep, you guessed it, Indy is there again (I have a slow learning curve). One of Ella's flailing arms accidentally lands on one of Indy's legs, which he looks at and then moves (and he's all like EWWW baby human germs! Baby human germs!). When it happens again, he gives a warning growl (which allowed me to intervene this time).

The saddest part?

Ella just looks at him all like, "Dude...I have NO IDEA what you are, but I SO want to be your friend..."

Poor kid. Nothing worse than being rejected by your own dog.


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