Tuesday, October 20, 2009

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Something I'll never understand is how I can be married to a total gadget freak...who knows very little about online stuff.

He has to have the latest and greatest phone. New iPod? So there. He can buy an automatic nose aspirator for our toddler, yet his eyes glaze over when I try to explain social networking to him.

When we get together with our friend, he and I will throw out terms like TweetDeck, followers, fan pages. My husband will just say, "I have no idea what you guys are talking about."

We just pat him on the head like the cute little puppy he is.

A couple of nights ago was our 12-year anniversary. (Mine and my husband's. Not our 12 year anniversary with our friend...) We actually got a babysitter and had a date night (TOTALLY unheard of here) consisting of dinner and a movie. (Also totally unheard of. I mean, who knew you could actually have an adult conversation in a romantic setting without the thunk-thunk-thunk of a 20-month old kicking your chair and loudly declaring, "Mama! Kick!")

We wanted to see a light movie, so we chose Couples Retreat. There's a very funny part in the movie where Vince Vaughn incorrectly refers to tweeting on Twitter as tw*tting.

Even my husband got that part.

Fast-forward to today. I get an auto-update from Twitter telling me that JTWDirect is now following me on Twitter.

My husband.

Impressive.

So instead of walking upstairs, I text him from my home office downstairs to his home office up (isn't technology grand?!?):

ME (text): I see you are now tw*tting.
Him (text reply): Heehee... I have no idea what I have done.

:o\

(Follow my husband on Twitter to see if he figures it out. It might be fun...)

I've been poking around on Twitter a great deal lately and I noticed something:

My self-confidence is decreasing in direct proportion to my increase in Twitter contacts (known as "Follows"). I joined up a while ago ('cos you know how much I hate to be a joiner), but I've only recently started using it regularly. I post updates to my blogs, website/biz info, and sometimes just random thoughts or rantings/ventings. You can follow me at http://twitter.com/WritRams.

Anyway, for those of you who don't know what Twitter is (and I can't imagine, but OK...), it is a free social networking site - kind of a micro-blogger site of sorts. It allows you to post a very limited character posting (usually amounting to a couple of sentences). You can "follow" postings of friends, co-workers, even people you don't know (if they allow it), just to see what people are up to everyday.

Sounds fun, right?
Intriguing?
I bet you're wondering right about now why it makes me feel like sh*t about myself on a regular basis (several times per day)?

Because I'm simply amazed by the people on there.
And? The depth of their knowledge that they are willing to share overwhelms me.

I follow a diverse group of people, many of whom who are entrepreneurs/owners of their own companies. And these people have it together, let me tell you (thus making me feel about this big every time I read their postings).

Let's take Chris Brogan for example. He has amazing business posts related to online business/social networking and other great stuff. I find useful information from almost all of his postings. Other great business posters include Jim Connolly, Susan Reid, Warren Whitlock and Mark David Gerson. (Seriously? There are SO MANY good ones that those are just skimming the surface). These are the people who reduce my self-confidence a little more each day. I won't hold it against them, however, because I gain a ton of knowledge and useful info from them.

I follow others simply because they make me laugh/smile. The quirky Danko Ramone - without fail - gets a smile out of me and most often a real live chuckle (just like Scuba Kitty). Smash Transistor is also good for some interesting everyday stuff, as is Kelly Drill.

If you don't know author JA Konrath and his Rusty Nail (Jacqueline "Jack" Daniels mysteries)(first shame on you), but sign up for his Twitter feed. You'll yuk it up in that scratch-your-head, no-he-DIDNT kinda way.

Anyway, go to Twitter (RUN I SAY!) and sign up for some, if not all, of the above mentioned parties. It will make you feel bad about yourself, but in an oh-so-good way.

And while you're at it? Let them know that @WritRams sent you.

Looking through a holiday catalog today birthed another blog topic. Namely? The madness behind pinatas. I mean, what ever made us think that it would be OK to hang up things that look like children's toys, beat them with a stick until they're broken and then expect kids to find that joyful?

All this pinata talk not only made me crave some Smarties, but it also reminded me of my stepdaughter's third or fourth birthday. Known from this point forward as THE PINATA EPISODE.

In a "hey I have a great idea" kinda way, we got a pinata. The traditional Mexican burro pinata. You know, like this:

Cute, right? Maybe too cute. In hind site? Not a good idea. We figured it out quickly when my stepdaughter screamed at the first hit with the stick, followed by much wailing and gnashing of teeth the rest of the evening. Come to think of it, a 4-year-old just might NOT have the ability to distinguish between reality and, uh, FAKE PINATA TISSUE. Hm. The things you learn parenting (and reason #3471 for her to go on the Oprah show).

Pinatas in general probably aren't a good idea for kids. I mean, what are we teaching them? Grab a stick, beat something down until it gives you what you want.

It's almost like an episode of Cops.

Anyway, here are some pinatas that went a little too far and/or may make kids appear on the Dr. Phil Show:

The Gingerbread Man? I'm still severely disturbed by Hansel and Gretel and I'm 28-years-old. (shut up)

I'm thinking all you people with cheerleader issues? Here's your chance for revenge...

Here Kitty...Kitty...Kitty (my husband would LOVE to take out his frustrations on this one, cat hater that he is).

How do you say "BEAT DOWN A BUFFY" in Spanish!??! (SERIOUSLY!?!? "Here honey, here's a stick, NOW KNOCK THE CRAP OUT OF LITTLE DORA'S HEAD!")



Santa for goodness sakes?!?! I see years & years of therapy in any kid's future who gets this pinata...

(BTW...don't think I didn't try my best to find naughty pinatas for all you pervs out there...).

A Tweeterussion (Twitter discussion) took place with @smashtransistor regarding the spelling of whiskey (yes, smashtransistor, it is with an "e". I mean, if it's that way on the Jack Daniels website it must be true). The discussion quickly deteriorated (on my part, not his) (of course) into What ever happened to Boone's Farm?!? So you know what I had to do (go to the Google, man, go to the Google).

Get this:
Apparently there is a Boone's Farm Fan Club. For those of you who don't know (and I can't imagine), Boone's Farm is (from that mecca of truth, Wikipedia): flavored wine or malt beverage product. It's popular with kids (pre-drinking age) because it is

1. CHEAP
2. TASTES LIKE KOOLAID

The weird thing? It's only about 8% alcohol, but it can leave you with a wicked headache in the morning (*see koolaid guzzling). I mean, I've heard. *ahem* (Hey, I can afford REAL wine now...)

Anyway, the fan site is a hoot, but the best part? The testimonials. (Seriously, people are writing in about their Boone's Farm experiences). The "Featured Testimonial" was THE. ABSOLUTE. BEST.
From the site:

Boone's farm was the first thing I ever drank. I was 13 or 14. When my mom found me the next morning, my head was over the toilet because I was scared of chokin on my own puke.

Makin' mama proud little lady...makin' mama proud!

PS-According to the website, Boone's Farm merchandise is coming soon. OH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let it be in time for Christmas. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF SANTA, PLEASE...