Wednesday, May 12, 2010
(Subtitled: Why you should teach your toddler rap.)
Last night we were having a family dinner when my nephew asked, "Do you guys know the Big Mac song?"
All three adults immediately (and simultaneously) launched into the two-all-beef-patties-special-sauce-lettuce-cheese-pickles-onions-on-a-sesame-seed-bun song.
Unimpressed, my nephew said flatly, "That's not it."
After several minutes of (unsuccessful) generational arguing, we gave it to Google.
And? Sure enough. The Big Mac song.
OK. I might be a little out of the loop since this video was posted in 2006, but now I can't get the song out of my head.
I was singing it in the bathroom this morning as my husband and I got ready.
(I know. Lucky guy.)
(AND, I can rap like nobody's business.)
Me: "I want a double cheeseburger, hold the lettuce..."
Me: Heeeeeey, did you notice that this song really isn't about Big Macs?!?
Him: That's not the problem. First of all, there's no lettuce on a double cheeseburger, AND there are CERTAINLY no seeds on the bun.
Me: That's why he says, "...no seeds on the bun."
Him: *SIGH* Why would you need to state the obvious?!?
Me: Uh...It's about the FLOW.
Me: *sigh*
Me: You know NOTHING about rap...
Then I did what any responsible parent would do...I taught the first part to my two year old.
"I need a double cheeseburger, hold the lettuce..."
After she sang it a couple of times she said, "I go school. I tell Miss Jody, 'I need a double cheeseburger, hold the lettuce.'"
I then get "the look" from my husband. "Great. We're going to have THAT kid."
To which I replied?
"We already do."
It's going to be a great day in the Wilson household.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Last night, we had chinese food. My favorite part of the meal -- like everyone else -- is the fortune cookie! (Hellooooo - bits of wisdom IN A COOKIE?!? GENIUS.)
Giddy with anticipation, I delicately break apart my cookie to find the following advice:
Behind an able man, there are always.
Period. That was it. ALWAYS WHAT?!?
Everyone knows the rule of fortune cookie etiquette -- if you get a fortune you hate, you get to choose another cookie.
(OK, you may not have known that rule of etiquette because, quite honestly, I just made it up. But anyway...)
Skeptically, I choose another cookie. I read it with a raised eyebrow.
Hubby: What did it say?
Me: The current year will bring you much happiness.
Hubby: Well you better get on it, you have about six weeks.
And just then?
The dog threw up.
Twice.
Monday, October 19, 2009
It's that time of the year -- chilly fall days beg for us to bust out the chili recipes.
I'm a BIG fan of the crockpot/slow cooker. Especially since having a baby.
I'm also a big fan of Ruby Tuesday's white bean chicken chili.
My friend Tawni gave me this recipe and it is the closest thing I've ever made/tasted to the Ruby Tuesday's recipe. It is easy AND yummy!
WHITE BEAN CHICKEN CHILI
3 cans great northern (white) beans, undrained
1 can (12 oz) chicken (I add 2 cans)
1 can cream of chicken or cream of mushroom soup
1 soup can of water
8 oz. salsa (medium or hot)
8 oz. Monterey Jack Cheese
Combine ingredients in crockpot and heat through. Cook on high for 2 hours if using shredded cheese or on low for 6-7 hours if using cubed cheese.
I serve with a little extra cheese on top.
Let me hear your feedback!
Enjoy this post? Nominate it for BlogHer of the Week. (It'll make me feel warm & fuzzy...)
(And for all you wise guys, NO this did NOT happen during #grilledcheesesunday, it happened during #mashedpotatosaturday).
Thank goodness it wasn't on the same finger where I got bit by the goat at the petting zoo...
(#MilkingThatInjury)
What goes hand-in-hand with a rainy day?
Well, OK, a NAP. But since we were out, we didn't have that choice. Instead, what screamed RAINY DAY COMFORT for us was a coffee.
And perhaps some chocolate chip cookies.
Out of convenience, we chose a fast-food-type drive through (an establishment known only in the north to those of us near Canada). We ordered two coffees and - OH LOOK! they have a half-dozen cookies for $3.99 - SOLD! They throw the total on the screen: $10.19.
FOR TWO CUPS OF COFFEE AND 6 CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES.
Clearly something was amiss.
So we get to the window and my husband says, "UH...are you sure that total is correct?" and he repeated our order. At which point we were assured it was correct because they were having a "promotion" on the chocolate chip cookies.
And here's where it started to get interesting.
According to the manager, the chocolate chip cookies were on "PROMOTION" this month so we couldn't buy them at the $3.99 for 6 price (roughly .67-cents each), but instead had to pay $1.00 each.
My husband and I look at each other in that "HUH...WHA..." confused Labradoodle way.
My Husband: Shaking his head "So, they're on promotion so we get to pay MORE? For a cookie ON PROMOTION?!?"
Manager: Yes. These are smile chocolate chip cookies. They're for a fundraiser.
ME: yelling across my husband and through the drive-thru window But we don't want the SMILE COOKIES. I don't even know what a SMILE COOKIE is, we just want the chocolate chip cookies...
My Husband: ...6 for $3.99
Manager: I can't sell you 6 chocolate chip cookies. They are on promotion for $1.00 each. But you can choose any other flavor 6 for $3.99.
My Husband and Me: blink-blink-blink
ME: Again, yelling across my husband into the drive-thru window So let me get this straight, we can't have the cookies we want at the normal price, but we CAN buy them at a higher price for a fundraiser we don't even know if we want to support?
Manager: *sigh* We can't ring chocolate chip cookies 6 for $3.99 right now. There's no button.
My Husband and Me: blink-blink-blink
My Husband and Me: CACKLING LAUGHTER
ME: Tell ya what, forget the cookies all together, we'll just take the coffees.
Moral of the Story? If you want to do a promotional fundraiser, raise your prices by 33-cents and insure that customers only have a choice to buy or not to buy. (See how well it worked on us?)
And that, my friends? Is promotion math and fundraising at its finest.
God Bless America.
So, to insure that I'm not sticking to any goals right now (especially not #14 on my Goal List), I went to a local fast food drive-thru today that shall remain nameless but starts with an M and has a scary (maybe sexually-confused, not-that-there's-anything-wrong-with-that) clown for a mascot.
Look, it was 5 p.m., I had been cleaning all day WHILE entertaining a 7-month old and only had a granola bar? OK?!?!
Anyway...
I order a chicken sandwich meal. CHICKEN SANDWICH - no special orders. Just the regular #8 OFF THE MENU. I pull through and get the, "Would you mind pulling forward it's going to be a minute."
*sigh*
"Is that my soft drink right there? Can I at least have my soft drink while I wait?"
*total confusion (on her part, not mine)* Then? "OH yeah, sure."
"When you bring my food, can I have mayonnaise and some salt?"
"Sure."
As I pulled forward, I already knew my mistake. They usually can't even get the prepackaged condiments correct when I'm sitting there at the window. I knew I should've just made them pass those little nuggets through the window before I assumed the interminable hold position.
I pull forward and count not one, not two, not three, but seven...SEVEN...cars go through the window to pick up their orders while I wait.
WAIT.
FOR MY CHICKEN SANDWICH MEAL.
CHICKEN. SANDWICH.
Finally, the girl comes out. Before I even look in the bag I say, "Is there mayo and salt in here?" Of course there wasn't. As she turns to go back in, I check the bag and? NO FRENCH FRIES. JUST THE CHICKEN SANDWICH. At which time I yell after girlie, "WHERE ARE MY FRIES?!? YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING, RIGHT?!?"
Seriously, at what point does some level of quality assurance kick in? Some multitasking training may be in order here. I mean, walk AND look in the bag to check the order at the same time. You're the same kids I see texting, driving AND drinking your forties ALL AT THE SAME TIME on the weekend. How hard could it be to open the bag while you walk?!?
Seriously.
Don't mess with my fries.
Let me just start off by saying that I'm a SODA girl - Diet Coke to be exact.
I've never been a huge fan of flavored drinks - I'm not keen on Koolaid, lemonade is OK, but I NEVER drink iced tea (for my southern friends, I shall give you a few moments to recover).
...
As you can imagine, Faygo has never been #1 on my list and a few days ago I found out why (aside from it being a sugary flavored drink):
According to the Faygo executives, they were the first people to introduce the word "pop" to be used instead soda.
One of my MAJOR pet peeves.
(Bastards).
(HELLOOOOO PEOPLE, it's SODA!).
Apparently, they named it after the "pop" sound Faygos made when you opened the can.
Wow.
The ingenuity.
Now, if this insanity isn't reason enough to stop calling SODAS pop, then I don't know what is.
Happy 100th Birthday Faygo.
You Suck.
So.
I ran across an article about the Texas State Fair and all the fried food they sell there. Here's a sampling for your cholesterol-ridden arteries:
Deep Fried Oreos
Deep Fried Twinkies
Deep Fried Latte (yes, LATTE, as in COFFEE)
Fried Cookie Dough
Fried Guacamole Bites (blasphemy! BTW-Tomorrow, Sept. 15 is National Guacamole Day, you may want to try the Fried Gauc Bites as a tribute - I still say BLASPHEMY)
Peach Cobbler on a Stick
Fried Chili Frito Burrito
Fried Banana Pudding
Fried Sweet Potato Pie
And the latest and greatest? DEEP FRIED COKE
(as in cola for those drug addicts who read this site and are getting all excited but needed clarification)
What's next?!?
I'd keep an eye on the women and children in Texas if I were you.
A note to my husband: Be proud of your home state, baby, be proud!
(And, if they come up with deep fried bubble gum ice cream, I am SO THERE)
(And, seriously, you REALLY CAN find a video of ANYTHING YOU NEED on youtube...fascinating)
