We've gone crazy. In a nation world of starving children, I can't believe that parents are spending thousands of dollars (hundreds of thousands in some cases) on parties for their kids a la My Super Sweet Sixteen.

Check out some of these stories that will make you cringe/beat your head against a wall/want to slit your wrists/never want to procreate/all of the above:

In 2007, "...former CEO of the leading supplier of body armor to U.S. soldiers in Iraq was charged yesterday with looting the company to bankroll a lavish lifestyle that included a $10 million bat mitzvah for his daughter."

Dude - you looted your company for a Bat Mitzvah to the tune of $10 million?!? $10 million on a Bat Mitzvah? Where do you go from there? How old is that - 13, right? (Sorry to all my Jewish friends). Where do you go from a $10 million party at 13 years old? What can possibly ever satisfy this child in her life now? Can you imagine the poor schmuck that she ends up marrying? It's SO a lost cause.

Another goodie? At one 10-year-old birthday party, they created a "Coach Themed Cake" for? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone know the answer?

$1500
FIFTEEN HUNDRED.
DOLLARS.

That's more than my wedding cake (seriously).

And it had like SIX TIERS.

And like FOUR DIFFERENT FLAVORS.

But, anyway...

Here's the real one that takes the cake (yes, pun intended):

From the caption:

"Elisa Strauss' Confetti Cakes made this elaborate 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' cake, which cost $2,000, for a 5-year-old's party."

The kid was FIVE.

FIVE.

The kid probably eats his own boogers and still needs help wiping his butt. I'm pretty sure that he didn't understand that he had a $2000 cake.

Look, many of us - as parents - have probably spent a little more than we should on occasion. We once got my oldest stepdaughter tickets to NSync at height of their heyday. But we sacrificed to save for those tickets (and the hearing loss we sacrificed due to the shrill of nine-year-old girls screeching at the top of their lungs. Who knew an entire stadium of females can shriek like that?!?). Not to mention? It scored me BIG POINTS on the cool stepmom scale and I'm all about bribing and buying love. But this post isn't about me, now is it?

(AND, if it makes you feel better, we MADE her birthday cake).

(Probably from a box...)

(And we were giving a lot of money to charity that year, too).

(And volunteering...)

Anyway, whenever I see these kind of extravagant stories I always ask myself, "If I could - if I had the means - would I?" Inevitably, without fail, the answer is NO!

A few Oprah shows ago, she relayed that we are raising the most indulgent generation yet. What are we teaching our kids? How are they going to function in the egocentric "enough about me, what do you think about me?" world we've created for them? I mean seriously people, stop the madness!

Really.
STOP IT!

Now.

I mean it.

And to think, all that I ever wanted was a Barbie Cake.
Ahhh...simplicity...

Just in case this posting hasn't made you crazy enough: http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/04/18/lw.pricey.bday.parties/index.html

Recently, I posted a topic on another site. It went something like this:

We have been in several (more than 1, less than 20) area restaurants that, upon arrival, have asked us, "Do you need a kid's menu?" This question should be a red flag for several reasons:

1. We have a child with us, but she's 6 months old.
2. She's in a CAR CARRIER.
3. She does have opposable thumbs, but no coordination.
Lastly (and probably most importantly)?
4. She has no teeth.

The first time it happened we laughed it off. It was a busy night, the hostess was a teenager, so whatever. The second time? The third time? At different restaurants? It started to get a little creepy. Last night? They added a line item to our receipt for "$0 Children's Buffet".

UH. HUH?!?

I thought that posting covered one of the weirdest things that had happened with Ella in public.
Until this weekend.

We were at a large area art festival and had pulled the stroller over to the side of the massive push of pedestrian traffic (and seriously, people, getting a FREE radio-station-logoed T-shirt is so NOT worth decapitating my daughter over as we innocently and unassumingly found ourselves in your crowd).

Anyway...

As we stood by a vendor, the woman working the booth started talking to Ella (who simulates dancing moves whenever she hears music).

(Ella, not the woman).

Riveting conversation ensues:

VW (Vendor Woman): OOOO...look at her dance! Does she appreciate the visual arts, too?

ME: Ummmm...it's a little too early to tell. She's definitely interested in everything going on...

(What I really wanted to say: She really enjoys staring at the 'shroom-style-acid-dropping-type visuals of the Baby Mozart/Einstein DVD. But I withheld. I mean, that counts as appreciating the visual arts, right?!? Anyway...)

VW: AHHH...is she coloring yet? Here's a coloring book, I bet she'll enjoy that!

ME: Well. Thank you. That's very generous. She's not quite there yet, so maybe we'll save this for a little while.

At that moment? Todd and I simultaneously look into the stroller at our 7-month old, who is?
Drooling and sucking on her big toe.

Perhaps we shall wait a while longer before we introduce crayons into her life...

See other Wordless Wednesday participants.

So, to insure that I'm not sticking to any goals right now (especially not #14 on my Goal List), I went to a local fast food drive-thru today that shall remain nameless but starts with an M and has a scary (maybe sexually-confused, not-that-there's-anything-wrong-with-that) clown for a mascot.

Look, it was 5 p.m., I had been cleaning all day WHILE entertaining a 7-month old and only had a granola bar? OK?!?!

Anyway...

I order a chicken sandwich meal. CHICKEN SANDWICH - no special orders. Just the regular #8 OFF THE MENU. I pull through and get the, "Would you mind pulling forward it's going to be a minute."

*sigh*

"Is that my soft drink right there? Can I at least have my soft drink while I wait?"

*total confusion (on her part, not mine)* Then? "OH yeah, sure."

"When you bring my food, can I have mayonnaise and some salt?"

"Sure."

As I pulled forward, I already knew my mistake. They usually can't even get the prepackaged condiments correct when I'm sitting there at the window. I knew I should've just made them pass those little nuggets through the window before I assumed the interminable hold position.

I pull forward and count not one, not two, not three, but seven...SEVEN...cars go through the window to pick up their orders while I wait.

WAIT.

FOR MY CHICKEN SANDWICH MEAL.

CHICKEN. SANDWICH.

Finally, the girl comes out. Before I even look in the bag I say, "Is there mayo and salt in here?" Of course there wasn't. As she turns to go back in, I check the bag and? NO FRENCH FRIES. JUST THE CHICKEN SANDWICH. At which time I yell after girlie, "WHERE ARE MY FRIES?!? YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING, RIGHT?!?"

Seriously, at what point does some level of quality assurance kick in? Some multitasking training may be in order here. I mean, walk AND look in the bag to check the order at the same time. You're the same kids I see texting, driving AND drinking your forties ALL AT THE SAME TIME on the weekend. How hard could it be to open the bag while you walk?!?

Seriously.
Don't mess with my fries.

You write the story...

Last night we drove by a beautiful park/campground on the water. As we passed all the RV's, I took note of all the "decorating" RV owners do when camping. It prompted me to start this conversation:

ME: "Did you see that ice cream cone light two of the RVs had hanging from their canopy?"

Him: "Uh. No."

ME: "Seriously? You didn't see them?"

Him: *sigh* "NO. Driving!"

ME: "Do you think the two ice cream cone RVs were together?"

Him: "Dunno."

*silence*

ME: "Do you think there's, like, an RV decorating store or something?"

*silence*

ME: "Or, do you think there's an RV class or caste system? Maybe some subculture that we aren't even aware of?!?"

ME: "What's the difference between class and caste, anyway? I always get those two mixed up..."

Him: *sigh*

Anyway, it started me thinkin'.

First let me say that I'm not making fun of RV-ers (or whatever they call themselves). Todd's grandparents traveled all over in an RV. They just stopped. And they are each 111 or something.

Heck, a few months ago I tried to get Todd to sell everything off, buy an RV and travel around the country doing, you know, good-for-something stuff. I could even home school Ella (when it gets to that point). But would it really be HOME schooling if you lived in an RV?

I digress...

So anyway, I guess I'm intrigued.

Is there an entire class system within the RV world? Like, the people who can afford the waterfront camping lots don't associate with the "people in the back"?

Or, do the number and types of lights you have decorating your RV canopy determine your place in the RV class system? What if you have no lights, OR *gasp* NO DECORATIONS. Are you shunned completely? Because I have to tell you, I wouldn't be part of the drag-all-the-crap-out-only-to-put-it-away-five-days-later group. I don't even unpack my suitcase when we are on vaca, for goodness sake. I would be in the shunned group, I guess.

By the way, there IS an RV decorating store (of course there is!), uh, there are LOTS of resources as it turns out. RVCrafts.com was my all time favorite website - who couldn't use some nifty RV-character placemats?!? But it was this site that made me realize, "Dang, people take their RV decorating very, very seriously!"