Don't Toddler and Drive

Saturday, April 10, 2010

I happen to think there are way worse things than texting and driving...like having a toddler in your back seat.

Before I get all of the you're-insane-texting-is-deadly-I-can't-believe-you're-being-so-irresponsible-to-post-this hate, you might want to get in line.

I suggest starting here.

And consider this, do you really think that statistics are going to show that someone crashed  because she had to lean down to retrieve a kid's meal chicken nugget that rolled under the front seat?

I think not.

I'm not saying texting and driving isn't dangerous. It is very dangerous, as Will Smith proved. And he also proved sitting in a bathtub with a jellyfish was dangerous. See how that works? There can be more than one dangerous thing at a time.

I'm all for apps that download onto new (or young) driver's phones and disable texting while driving. I think that should be part of a parent's choice. However, I'm not so sure if I'm for no texting (or cell phone use) while driving for everyone.

If that's the case, I think they should also outlaw the following while driving:

• DVD players in cars (hahahahahaha to the "only in the back seat" requirement).
• Eating fast food (if you've ever tried to eat something from The Bell while driving down the highway, I feel ya).
• Listening to incendiary talk radio personalities.
• Taking notes while on a business call.
• Pets on your lap.
• Any kind of personal hygiene (including shaving, brushing your hair, make-up application, or staring lovingly at yourself in the mirror).
• Toddlers in the backseat.

Let me tell you, if you've never had a toddler screaming at the top of her lungs and launching a sippy cup straight at your head while barreling down the highway at 65 miles per hour, you probably don't understand driving distractions.