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Life in the little city continues:
Every morning on my way to the bookstore I stop at the gas station. You know, the ones that have everything you need - groceries, pastries, pizza/sandwiches, sodas, etc. Every morning I get a big 32 oz. diet coke and once or twice a week I get cherry turnovers. (I know it sounds weird, but they have KILLER cherry turnovers. For all of you who are going to comment on my diet Coke with cherry turnovers...well, just don't). Checking out this morning, banter ensued:

Bitter Woman Behind Counter (BWBC): "You know, you're going to turn into a cherry turnover."
ME: "Ya think?" (I'm quite the morning conversationalist)
BWBC: "When your fat jeans don't fit anymore don't come in here complaining to me because you ate too many cherry turnovers."
ME: ...
ME: ...
ME: ...

I had NO witty retort (And I HATE when that happens - I blame it on the morning). I'm here to tell BWBC:
I have plenty of FAT JEANS and they fit me just fine, thank you very much.
(How you gonna act now???)

Just think of it this way:
I'm a little like Tom Cruise in Cocktail. Instead of always having some sort of self-help/entrepreneurial book behind the counter, I always have a cherry turnover.