Unveiling of the TP

A Tweet by D.R. (and subsequent exchange) made me realize something: men and women still don't get each other. (Shock of all shocks, I know...)

Example you say?
Men will never, ever understand why women use so much toilet paper.

It's as simple as that in a nutshell. And, THAT is what a Mars/Venus book should've been about.

Ok, men? I'm going to let you in on the secret.
It will be like touching the Shroud of Turin.
Only not as old.
And way less important.
With no religion attached.

Anyway, you get the idea.

So the reason we women use so much toilet paper? (You do realize I'm divulging a HUGE sisterhood secret, don't you? Putting myself on the line. There better be some props of appreciation here.)

We use so much toilet paper because:

We never ever ever want anything to touch our hands.
Ever.
Not even one drop of urine.
Not even a SPECK of anything else.
And if something happens to get under our fingernails?
GOD. HELP. US. ALL.
If we have to use half a roll of toilet paper to insure that none of the above happens? Then so be it.
It's well worth it.
Get over it.
And don't EVER mention how much toilet paper we use.
EVER. AGAIN.

Hope that sums it up for the Y chromosome side.

Look, it doesn't shock us double X's that you don't understand. We watch you blow your nose at the table and then continue on with dinner. We watch you bait hooks and then grab a sandwich out of the cooler. We watch you scratch all areas (in public, nonetheless) and then use the same buffet utensils we're using. Little shocks us about you now.

So seriously? We're not surprised that you don't get it.
Let's just hope that I'm not kicked out of the sisterhood of secrets now...