Did I mention before that I hate shopping? Especially when it involves a Cherokee, some steroid rage, and organic baby oatmeal (not necessarily in that order).
Anyway, we ventured out today.
The day after Christmas.
THE. DAY. AFTER. CHRISTMAS.
Mainly because the baby needed organic oatmeal that *apparently* can't be carried at any store near my house.
(Ok, really? My car is in the shop and I hadn't been out for like 5 days, maybe THAT'S the REAL reason, but whatever...).
Anyway, it was as you imagine the day after Christmas at a popular local shopping establishment. Crazy - people everywhere (Hellllooooo people who MUST return items the day after Christmas? WHAT.ARE.YOU.THINKING?!?!).
So we pull up to a *closer* parking spot to wait for someone leaving (because it's cold out and with a baby and all the baby accouterments you have a NEED to get as close as possible). While waiting in the over-packed parking lot, the little Jeep Cherokee that we're "blocking" decides he can't wait the 60 seconds it takes the other person to pull out so we can park. He starts backing up. As someone sitting in the back with a baby and directly in the line of back-up lights, I calmly say to Todd, "Honk your horn, this guy's backing up." (OK, it was more like HOOOOOONK YOUR HOOOOOOORN THIS @%#&!#@*^$ FEELS THE NEED TO BACK UP RIGHT THIS SECOND. HONK! I SAID HONK YOUR HORN!!!!).
The Cherokee idiot (the Jeep, not the Indian) pushes it as close as he can and then throws up his hand and starts gesturing. By this time, the car in the spot we were waiting for had pulled out and was now blocked by the Cherokee idiot sitting perpendicular to our car. At that moment? Mr.-Bald-head-steroid-dude-who-has-no-interest-in-the-situation walks up beside our car and also starts to gesture to us while pointing to the Cherokee idiot like, "DUDE! THIS NICE GUY'S TRYING TO BACK HIS CHEROKEE OUT AND YOU'RE BLOCKING HIM."
The time frame of all of this?
About 2 minutes.
That's right, Cherokee idiot couldn't wait 120 seconds.
Was his wife giving birth?
Had someone severed a limb?
Did he only have 2 minutes to get to the bank to deposit his Mega Millions winnings?
Was there a blue light special at some Kmart?
No - not to my knowledge - on all fronts.
The best part was that baldie - steroid boy who had nothing to do with the situation - felt the need to get involved and yell at us.
My response to steroid boy? I CACKLED with laughter.
It was better than the alternative (which was a brief fleeting thought of jumping out of the car to go toe-to-toe with baldie to mind his own business).
AHHHH.
That's the holiday spirit everyone!
(And, really, bald steroid dude? It was just a busy post-holiday parking lot. No need to go all steroid rage on my family...and it wasn't even you we were blocking...Woo-sah and find your happy spot in the new year!)
(It's just a suggestion...)
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