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I'm cleaning the bathroom at the bookstore this morning when I notice that I have this tuft of hair sticking up on the side of my head like a horn. No matter what I did, it still was sticking up. Luckily I have a bottle of hairspray under the sink. After I plaster this one piece of hair down (very *HOT* btw), I lean down to put the hairspray back, proceed to knock a lavender-scented reed diffuser glass vase off the counter, onto the floor, and in the meantime lean onto the counter which I had just sprayed with a BLEACH cleaner.

I'm wearing a navy sweater.



You get the point.

After a few seconds, a nice little bleach spot appeared over my left nipple (no kidding).

I could either try to convince people that Ralph Lauren had a weird pony placement mishap OR...
AHA! I could color it in with a blue dry eraser board marker.

It worked OK (in case you are wondering).

I should've known it was going to be this kind of day when I started at the grocery store this morning buying a bottle of wine. When the girl was loading my groceries into the trunk I said, "Oh, you better put the wine up front with me, ha, ha, ha." She said, "OH! OK!" I said, "Oh no, I was just kidding." Her response?

"Hey, whatever you need..." as she rolled the cart away.