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I stumble into the bathroom at an unearthly hour this morning, groggy because of newborn-baby-induced-ongoing-semi-comatose state. I don't have my glasses on (nor my contacts in *duh*) and the lights are off (hey, I know where everything is and how much light does it really take to pee at 3 a.m.?!?!). As I sit down to "do my business", I squint at something all over the bathmat and floor in front of the shower. My mind quickly translates what I'm seeing into "ANTS! There are ANTS CRAWLING ALL OVER THE FLOOR!" But common sense quickly won out as I reasoned "Why would there be ants on our floor? It's the dead of (uh, Springtime) Winter."

I flip on the light only to find
ANTS.
THERE ARE ANTS CRAWLING ALL OVER OUR BATHMAT AND FLOOR IN FRONT OF THE SHOWER.
IN THE MIDDLE OF (MARCH "SPRINGTIME") WINTER.
WHEN IT'S 20 DEGREES OUTSIDE.
AND WE HAVE 8 INCHES OF DRIFTED SNOW OUTSIDE THE VERY BATHROOM WINDOW WHERE THERE ARE ANTS.
(DID I MENTION THEY WERE CRAWLING ON MY BATHROOM FLOOR?!?)

Now, this doesn't make sense on SO. MANY. LEVELS.
1. There was no marching line of ants. They were all willy nilly on the bathmat and under the mat on the floor.
2. There was no apparent point of entry (nor exit).
3. And, did I mention IT'S WINTER?!?

What EXACTLY were they doing? (Uh, shower party?!?) and WHERE EXACTLY DID THEY COME FROM. Are ants the new locusts? If so, Is it the end time?

These are questions I cannot answer. We found NONE in the rest of the house, nor have any returned since I sent in "The Cleaner." (I'll spare you the details).

Anyway, it may be The End of the World As We Know It
(And I feel fine...)


And my husband was worried about me eating Pop Tarts in bed.
HMPF.

3 comments

Cara said... @ 10:06 AM

That's crazy, usually ants like kitchens. I totally hate ants. We had problems with them in our last home, they drove me crazy!

Lisse said... @ 1:30 PM

It sounds like carpenter ants. Were they on the big side? You don't often find them in kitchens because carpenter ants like wood and water, which means they are living in your walls.

Were you or anyone else doing any serious work that day whch might have disturbed them?

If I've described the situation correctly, call an exterminator. This has nothing to do with food or cleanliness.

J. Wilson said... @ 8:26 PM

OMG! It is SO WEIRD! They are THE LITTLE PICNIC-TYPE ANTS! That's what is so WEIRD. I mean, let's face it, I generally don't EAT and leave CRUMBS while sitting on the TOILET, so I can't imagine what they are so interested in there!

Now I keep scratching all the time and insisting that ants are crawling on me...

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