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[Aryan nation-looking young man with shaved head enters store. After he browses for a while, he comes up with a book.]

Aryan Boy: Do you know Clive Barker? Do you read him?

[Side note: Clive Barker is an insanely graphic horror novelist - one sick MoFo in my book]

Me: Not really. Not for a long, long time.
Aryan Boy: He has some REALLY GREAT books, don't you think?
Me: HM
Aryan Boy: So, I notice that you have lots of freckles on your chest, but none on your face.
Aryan Boy: I know it seems weird, but you have lots of freckles on your chest, but I don't see any on your face so I was just wondering if you cover them up or something...
Me: *blink*
Me: *blink blink*
Me: *blink*
Me: Enjoy your books.

If there are no more posts after this one, then you know that I'm chained in the crawl space of Aryan boy's parent's house reading Clive Barker aloud to him while he counts my chest freckles...