...I'm just going away...TO A NEW BLOG ADDRESS.

Writer Ramblings has moved to http://www.writrams.com/ (that's right, I have my big girl panties on now).

The old postings will remain here (don't worry, they're over at the new site, too), but--after this--no current postings will appear on this site.

What does this mean for you? If you subscribe to this blog and receive updates via email, then you should head over and subscribe to the new blog so you don't miss anything.

Go on.

(Why are you still here? Nothing to see. Move along.)

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


(Subtitled: Why you should teach your toddler rap.)

Last night we were having a family dinner when my nephew asked, "Do you guys know the Big Mac song?"

All three adults immediately (and simultaneously) launched into the two-all-beef-patties-special-sauce-lettuce-cheese-pickles-onions-on-a-sesame-seed-bun song.

Unimpressed, my nephew said flatly, "That's not it."

After several minutes of (unsuccessful) generational arguing, we gave it to Google.


And? Sure enough. The Big Mac song.


OK. I might be a little out of the loop since this video was posted in 2006, but now I can't get the song out of my head.






I was singing it in the bathroom this morning as my husband and I got ready.
(I know. Lucky guy.)
(AND, I can rap like nobody's business.)

Me: "I want a double cheeseburger, hold the lettuce..."
Me: Heeeeeey, did you notice that this song really isn't about Big Macs?!?
Him: That's not the problem. First of all, there's no lettuce on a double cheeseburger, AND there are CERTAINLY no seeds on the bun.
Me: That's why he says, "...no seeds on the bun."
Him: *SIGH* Why would you need to state the obvious?!?
Me: Uh...It's about the FLOW.
Me: *sigh*
Me: You know NOTHING about rap...

Then I did what any responsible parent would do...I taught the first part to my two year old.

"I need a double cheeseburger, hold the lettuce..."

After she sang it a couple of times she said, "I go school. I tell Miss Jody, 'I need a double cheeseburger, hold the lettuce.'"

I then get "the look" from my husband. "Great. We're going to have THAT kid."
To which I replied?
"We already do."

It's going to be a great day in the Wilson household.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

As many of you know, I am an older *cough*41*cough* mother of a two year old. By the time that you get to this age, there are many things that you've forgotten about the simplicity of life. It doesn't take long around a toddler to be reminded of those things, and then start appreciating again.

As a mother, I feel like I've learned a lot. Don't get me wrong, I learn a great deal from the older girls, but the toddler serves as a daily reminder to just...relax.


10 Things I've Learned from My Toddler

1. Wake up early. Have you ever noticed how toddlers wake up with the sunrise, most often bounding out of bed with a smile and an immediate purpose? Yeah. Be that way more.

2. Eat only when you're hungry and until you're full. Watch a toddler closely at lunch or dinner. When you can get them to eat, they eat exactly what they want, until they are full, and then they stop. Think how much better our diets would be if we lived by that same principal.

3. Don't be afraid to show emotion. If you're mad, be mad. If you're happy, be happy. E is really into telling me her emotion right now. One day I thought, "Wouldn't it be much easier on relationships if you could just say, 'I sad.' like a two year old?"

4. Hug hard. Hug often. Doesn't it make you feel fantastic how a little person will run at full speed just to fling themselves into your arms and hug you tight? Just think how great your other loved ones would feel if you showed that same intensity.

5. Leave your toys out. I think many of us (especially moms) are so set on making sure that everything looks perfect that we miss out on some key times. If leaving the dishes in the sink overnight means time outside on a summer evening with the family then there's no contest.

6. Don't spend time with people you don't like. Have you ever noticed how a toddler will not only refuse to spend time with someone they don't like, but they'll also tell you? Well, you don't have to go that far, but do realize your time is precious. Don't waste it with people you don't care about (and vice versa).

7. Use "NO!" like you mean it. If you don't want to do something (or can't), just say no. And then mean it.

8. Idolize someone. Toddlers look up to people who are important to them because they are caring and they, in general, teach them something. Who do you idolize?

9. Eat with your hands. As adults, we're so afraid of getting dirty...why? Eat with your hands. Run in the rain. Jump in a pile of leaves. You'll be amazed how liberating these things can be for you.

10. Sing. Often. If there's one thing that I will always remember about my toddler, it's that she sings ALL.THE.TIME. It doesn't matter if we're in the supermarket, walking into church or she is in the classroom at school. You know how much hearing someone sing makes you smile?

Thursday, May 6, 2010

I really loathe design flaws that make one item seem like another.

For example, some genius came up with the idea to make Neosporin spray in the same portable, purse-size spray as breath freshener. When you're reaching blindly into your purse while driving, these feel EXACTLY.THE.SAME.

(Trust me, I know.)

I also hate when shampoos and conditioners are in the same shaped bottle. Hello? How else am I supposed to tell them apart when I have a face and head full of soapy bubbles?!?

So this morning, I reach into my makeup drawer to extract what I *think* is a sample size of a favorite lotion--same colors, same writing, same...everything. (Well, almost.)

After rubbing generous amounts on BOTH my arms, I knew something was amiss. This lotion was thick and wasn't soaking into my skin like the regular stuff. I pick up the bottle to discover it was, in fact, BODY WASH.

IN THE SAME PACKAGING AS THE LOTION.

In case you've never tried rubbing body wash into your dry, non-showery skin (I don't recommend it, BTW...), it does...NOTHING. It just sits on top of your skin in a big, thick, non-lathery way and YOU.CANNOT.WIPE.IT.OFF.

After several minutes of wetting and scrubbing, it finally came off. However, it's supposed to rain later today while I'm out, so we'll see...

(Remember that time on Brady Bunch when Bobby put too much soap in the washer? EXACTLY.)

Monday, May 3, 2010

If you've followed this blog for any period of time, you are probably familiar with Ninja Cocaine Kitty.

As I've mentioned before, Ninja Cocaine Kitty (not his real name, but changed here to protect his identity) has an interesting way of communicating with me. It usually involves flinging himself from across the room in a Freddy Krueger, Ninja-like stance.

But last night he elevated his communication method to a new high.

We're not talking any of that, "But did Timmy fall in the well, boy?" stuff for my pets. Nope. Not my cat. Instead, he actually fashioned a neck sign out of a bag handle and a piece bag.


I'm pretty sure when I caught up with him he was searching for a Sharpie to scratch out his little piece of kitty wisdom to me. Curses to bad timing.